sunset of dissolution

Going into one of those moods...

Tue, 27 May 2008 16:39:11 GMT

"All around me the broken asphalt said that these trees were winning a war."
- Timothy Conigrave, Holding The Man

Who can do it? Wiccan do it! (get it? hahaha. lame-o)

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:54:28 GMT

Just so people don't think I'm dead...(on halloween, no less)

I'm gonna admit that i've a fascination with So You Think You Can Dance. All that graceful fluidity. Jealous.

Also, everyone has to go watch Once. It's a fantastic movie - real and gripping, and the songs are amazing.

And because I'm too lazy to do those hyperlinks thingy, go google it yourself.

Be good all.

the last kiss

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:43:21 GMT

"I could be your last chance at happiness."

sex

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 16:28:34 GMT

awkwardness is secondary to impulse.

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 16:04:30 GMT

"I'll be back."
"I'll be here."

basic etiquette

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 14:12:42 GMT

What is it with people and msn?
Why don't they even bother to just say a simple 'hello' or something?
Even if u're busy, it doesn't take too long to reply to a greeting, or a question.
Am seriously not impressed with people who don't take the time to maintain a decent convo, and just closes the chat window.
Bastards.

what do u let go of?

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 06:37:08 GMT

If u've known me for some years now...u would know that i, more often than not, wear something on my left arm. Not a watch, not a ring; but a wristband. These days, it's that brown leather cord i bought during my trip to japan last year. And before that, it was this elastic sponge/wooden beads thing that i really liked.

That said bracelet kept with me till end 2004, during my trip to KL with charmaine. It had snapped before, but that was in my house...so all i did was run an elastic band through it and it was fixed. But...that trip...heh. Didn't even realise that i had lost it till some time later.

It was a part of me. Everywhere i went, it went along. And now, having lost it over a year ago, i got around to thinking: what do we leave behind when we move on in life?

To me, that bracelet represented a part of my life. My life while serving the army, my first year in sydney, the friends i had made during that period of time, the emotional ups and downs. I feel, now, as though that it was some cosmic incident that made me lose it, to let go of the past and move on.

Everyone of us has that something we got to leave behind to move forward. It may be something personal, something emotional, something inanimate - as long as it's something that holds some significance to you. But that's just life, u know? One has to lose something to gain something. For me, i do not really know what that band represented for me, but i do know that it was important to me. Maybe it was my youth, my immaturity, my inability to let things go, my foolishness of thinking that a single spark can rekindle a blazing fire. Maybe it was time to let go; giving me the space and freedom to grow. Who knows?

But whatever happens, we always find something else to replace it - a reminder of things that were. I had mentioned something similiar once, here. So, my current leather cord is a faint reminder of that sponge/bead bracelet, perhaps showing my reluctance to not let go of the past. But depending on how u see it, it's either a reluctance; or an indication of one's past, and your moving on. There are some lessons in life that u've learnt that u should never forget, and maybe, just maybe, those memorabilia are fragments of those lessons learnt.

does wanting to cook and clean the house signify the start of old age?

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 14:57:14 GMT

Help, i'm becoming domesticated!
It all started last week with me saying how i'd cook for the newtowners on thurs, and for the pre-party dinner on fri. It's scary how within this week, i've gone grocery shopping more times than i have throughout the entire year. Of course, snack-shopping (ie: chips, sweets, lollies, drinks, canned tuna, canned soups, frozen pies) ain't considered... and just so u ppl don't think that i buy my meals everyday, it's just that grocery shopping is charmaine's and val's duty, i just pay for my share of the groceries.

But anyways, yeah...so it began with me going down to coles on mon and wed to buy stuff, and operation: jap curry commenced on thurs evening, after me gym session. Wasn't too bad...dumped in beef, onions, capsicums and carrots and fried them, before stewing them (everything's easy when there's a recipe, and the curry's a pre-mix).

The most of fri was spent baking what's commonly known as "the only dish alex can cook": Shepherd's Pie. Ever since coming to syd, it seems to be the only dish that ppl can associate me with. But i CAN cook! I just need a recipe to follow. I'll show them one day...*mutters* So yeah, while waiting for the potatoes to boil, i decided to give my house a good cleaning. With the help of alot of elbow grease, windex, ajax spray 'n wipe, and the trusty ol' vacuum cleaner, i got my place looking cleaner and neater than it was some hours back.

Fri nite...Selwyn's and Val's party! Was good though, just kicking back, drinking lotsa beer, and mingling with friends and acquaintances and strangers. The amount of beer drunk was kinda scary though, 100 bottles amongst 30 ppl or so! And that's not including the tequila, rum and vodka that was polished off halfway through the party. And naturally, there were some buggers who brought cheap beer and smooched off our good stuff. Assholes.

Sat was free and easy, with me basically just staying home during the day, getting lunch at cordial and coffee at campos. Dinner at gene's was fantastic! Gene, the whiz that he is, cooked up this dish that looked like it could have come out of a restaurant! It was basically steamed chicken, on a bed of spanish onions, poached pears and rocket leaves, with some fried sweet potato skins thrown on top. God, that was good.

After-dinner plans consisted of the 4 of us (gene, craig, greg, and me) heading to the columbian as well as the shift downstairs to kill some time before going on upstairs. I think i'm gonna swear off downstairs for a while now. The music and eye candy at both the columbian and shift upstairs is so much more better!! No more crappy handbag MTV music, but good heavy house beats. Bliss.

We were there till abt 6-ish this morn, after which i took a cab home...but couldn't sleep till like 8. It was funny how gene and i were up chatting away on msn. Had i known i wasn't going to be able to sleep, i would have just gone over to his place to chat rather than over msn. Didn't sleep for long though, woke up sometime ard 12. And strangely...even though i've been up the whole day, i'm still not sleepy! Well, i actually kinda am...so after posting this, i'll prolly crash.

So there, my weekend as detailed. God, i hope i get out of this domesticated house-band phase soon...i don't want my life to revolve around cleaning, categorising the foodstuff in my fridge by the dewey decimal system, cooking and scrubbing the toiletbowl. Urgh.

musings

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 14:13:53 GMT

Been asked some very weird questions over the past few days, and thought i shd jot them down. Rather funny actually...hehe.

Musing 1
Mark: Is that your original hair colour?
Me: Erm....yeah? U know i'm asian, right?
Mark: Yeah, but it's...SO black! How did u get it so black??
Me: Erm...right...

Weird... like, hello! I'm asian.

Musing 2
During jap culture class...
Tracy: Hey, how old are u?
Me: Oh ho ho, i'm old.
Tracy: How old? 20?
Me: Erm...higher?
Tracy: 21?
Me: Higher.
Yvonne: (watching the convo going on) 23?
Me: Hahaha...higher.
Tracy: (pitch going up a notch) 25?
Me: Nah...24.
Tracy: OMG??? U're 24? U don't look 24!
Yvonne: Yeah, u look so much younger!
Tracy: I thought u were like 20. Or like 18, but cuz u're smart u entered uni early. (Turning to Adam and writing the number 24 on her palm and showing it to him) Adam! Adam! What do u think this is?
Adam: (pauses) 24?
Tracy: That's his age! (pointing to me)
Adam: What?

Hahahaha. I'm 18? 20? As it is, asians look younger than caucasians...but these were asians who were asking me my age! Thank god for youthful looks, i guess. *grin*

PS: this song rocks!

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 16:27:57 GMT

It's funny how when i flew back to sydney early this yr, i couldn't find the photo kang and i took together. No matter how hard i looked, and knowing that i had brought it back to syd with me, i just couldn't find it. And now, months after his visit to syd and of non-contact, i open Rilke to find it inside.

The ironies of life huh? To think that he was the one who introduced the book to me; and when i'm feeling a lil dejected, i find that photo.

insomnia

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 16:19:38 GMT

Whenever i'm lost and need some guidance in my life, Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet never fails to help me seek peace.

transitions

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 17:06:10 GMT

It's how funny things have worked out over this period of a month. I came back to sg to get away from it all in sydney... to just put what had happened all behind me, take a breather, and step off to a fresh new start for my final semester. I was looking forward to coming back, in more ways than one; so it's funny how now i want to go back to sydney to get away from sg.

It's not an escapism theory of mine, but sometimes, one just has to leave everything behind, get a new perspective, come back, and brave the storm. Val and i had just discussed this today. Many will think that we're lucky to have parents who are able to afford to send us overseas, and we agree. But if we had known that it would entail so much emotions, i would rather skip the traveling to and fro. I mean, i left sydney to get some stuff out of my head...and now, i gotta go back to syd to do the same thing. I thought sg was gonna be my haven, and everything will be good here, but now, syd's gonna be my haven.

I blame alot of what's going on to fate. Fate deals a cruel hand. During my time in sg, i tried, very hard, to accomplish some stuff. But one cannot order fate. Likewise, one cannot order something to happen to one's accordance. If i had a choice, i would have liked to stay on in sg and see how some things play out, and how somethings will fizzle out. But we do not argue with fate. The powers-that-be determine the course we take, it's all pre-determinism. Once we strap ourselves into the seat, we're taken on a journey that won't stop till it reaches its destination.

I've experienced slight happiness, as well as disappointment. It may be a defense mechanism of others, but i think that ppl don't understand how that can hurt others. i know i've done it before, and i've apologised to those whom i've hurt. I think what's wrong with this world is that ppl do not let others know what is going on in their lives. If we only spoke to each other, let the other party know how we feel and what's going on in our lives, it would save us from a lot of heartache.

There are some stuff i'm not going to let go of, even when i'm back in syd. I may not believe in many things, but those that i do, i believe and cling to them mightily. I do not know how things will change in 4 months' time; it might be for the better, it might be for the worse. But for now, i would like things to just simmer. Lotsa thoughts are running through my head, and i do not know how to put many of it down to words. Sometimes i feel like just popping some SSRIs, letting go and enjoying the happy haze that comes.

Sigh...i hate flying, u know that?

63 questions

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 07:02:22 GMT

The things i would do to not study...

1)How old do you wish you were?
Wish? I dunno…as long as I’m in my 20s I’m happy.

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Sleeping in a bunk in some now torn-down camp opp. ACJC, training to become a recce.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Slam the machine a while, mutter a cuss word and walk off.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
Erm…yeah.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I was toying the idea of getting a 『強』on my arm, but now thinking of getting 『一生』.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Well, am learning jap now… But French and Spanish will be good.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
Hehehe…yup!

8) What do you consider a vacation?
Anywhere I can just sit back and chill. A book, a cold beer (or some other alcoholic beverage), and good company.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
I know I’m an aries…and I read it when I stumble across the horoscopes in the papers and all.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
Love changes everything.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Hahaha. Yeah.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Love conquers all.

13) Dream job?
Sometime where I can hobnob with the rich and famous.

14) Favorite channel(s)?
Sydney: Channel Ten and SBS (sometimes)
SG: Not much of a choice, is there?

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
Somewhere chill is nice.

16) Showers or Baths?
Showers. I hardly take baths unless I know I’ve the time. Plus, both my bathrooms in syd and sg don’t have a bathtub.

17) Do you paint your nails?
Erm….harloe….

18) Do you trust people easily?
No. Unless I can ascertain that they’re trustworthy.

19) What are your phobias?
Fear of not being loved (whatever the phobia is called).

20) Do you want kids?
A dream.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
Yeah. The more personal things are written in there.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
In my fantasy.

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
At the moment, no one. Haha…somehow the idea of “warm and fuzzy” reminds me of a bear.

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
Medium. But I wake at the sound of anything.

25) Are you paranoid?
Sometimes.

26) Are you impatient?
I hate it when people are late for no reason.

27) Who can you relate to?
Hmm…my journal. And some friends, of course.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
I’m all for human rights.

29) Have you been burned by love?
Scarred.

30) What's your favorite pick-up line?
Lol… I’m painfully shy.

31) What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
The Darkness “I belive in a thing called love”

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
Just got home from watching “The Omen”. Logged on and chatted with friends.

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
Selwyn asking me to auntie fang for dinner tonite.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My own. And I just changed the sheets. Fresh crisp smell.

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.

36) Most recent movie you watched?
The Omen 666. A remake.

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
Phone. Wallet. Coinpouch with keys in it.

38.) What color are your bed sheets?
At the moment…fuchsia red sheets with navy blue quilt cover.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
Abt 60 bucks?

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
I just eat it.

41) What's your favorite town/city?
Tokyo…and Sydney (though I feel like an outsider here in syd).

42) I can't wait till:
Things that I want in my life come.

43) Who got you to join LJ?
I dunno…I was on upsaid, but decided to change cuz it was cool at that point of time.

44) What did you have for dinner last night?
Subway.

45) How tall are you barefoot?
Can’t remember…but will know come Friday when I go for my med checkup.

47) Do you own a gun?
Hell yeah! hahaha

48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Everyone knows I can’t function without my campos…=)

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Remember I’m painfully shy?

56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
With a job.

57) Last thing you ate?
Crackers with roasted capsicum dip.

58) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever comes into my head.

59) Last thing that made you laugh?
Something Andrew sent over msn. Was of these 6 chinese Chippendales wannabes…laughed so hard.

60) Worst injury you've ever had?
2 I can recall. One occurred when I was in Thailand, on a mission. Was breaking branches off a dried up bamboo tree and had a deep cut to my finger. Had to get stitches done for that. The other was when I tried blading down a slope…couldn’t control my speed, fell face front and scraped my knee. Left a scar.

61) Does someone have a crush on you?
How would I know??

62) What's your favorite candy?
Gummi bears and jellybeans. But they must be from specific brands.

63) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Too morbid to think about.

taken from charpinkie

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 06:14:45 GMT

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[2] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.

[] I have been to Europe.
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[4] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[5] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. (apparently that’s how I got the scar on my forehead)
[6] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[7] I have played ping pong.
[8] I swam in the ocean.
[] I have been on a whale watch.
[9] I have seen fireworks.

[10] I have seen a shooting star.
[] I have seen a meteor shower.
[] I have almost drowned.
[11] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[12] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[13]I have had stitches.
[] I have had frostbite.
[] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[14] I have stayed up ’til 2 doing homework/projects.

[] I currently have a job.
[] I have been ice skating.
[15] I have been roller blading.
[16] I have fallen flat on my face.
[17] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[] I have been in a fist fight.
[18] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight.
[19] I have watched the Power Rangers.

[20] I attend Church regularly.
[21] I have played truth or dare.
[22] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[23] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[24] I’ve called someone stupid.
[25] I’ve been in a verbal argument.
[26] I’ve cried in school.
[] I’ve played basketball on a team.
[] I’ve played baseball on a team.
[] I’ve played football on a team.
[] I’ve played soccer on a team. during a thunderstorm
[27] I’ve done cheerleading on a team. (does a team of prefects supporting a school team count?)
[] I’ve played softball on a team.
[] I’ve played volleyball on a team.
[] I’ve played tennis on a team.
[] I’ve been on a track or cross country team.
[28] I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I’ve bungee jumped.

[29] I’ve climbed a rock wall.
[30] I’ve lost more than 20$.
[31] I’ve called myself an idiot.
[32] I’ve called someone else an idiot.
[33] I’ve cried myself to sleep.
[34] I’ve had (or have) pets.

[] I’ve owned a spice girls CD.
[] I’ve owned a Britney Spears CD.
[] I’ve owned an N*Sync CD.
[35] I’ve owned a Backstreet Boys CD. (*sheepish*)
[36] I’ve mooned someone.
[37] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[] I’ve been in the newspaper.
[38] I’ve been on TV.
[] I’ve been to Hawaii.
[39] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall.
[40] I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[] I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[] I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies.
[] I’ve watched the Stooges.
[41] I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica. (snippets…not the whole thing…too inane)
[42] I’ve watched Looney Tunes.
[] I’ve been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

[43] I’ve been called a geek.
[44] I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[] I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[] I’ve hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[] I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[45] I’ve met a celebrity/music artist.
[46] I’ve written poetry.
[] I’ve been arrested.

[47] I’ve been attracted to someone much older than me.
[] I’ve been tickled till I’ve cried.
[48] I’ve tickled someone else until they cried.
[49] I’ve had/have siblings.
[50] I’ve been to a rock concert.

[51] I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[52] I’ve been in a play.
[] I’ve been picked last in gym class.
[] I’ve been picked first in gym class.
[53] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[] I’ve cried in front of my friends.
[54] I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[] I’ve played Halo.
[] I’ve freaked out over a sports game.
[] I’ve been to Alaska.

[54] I’ve been to China.
[] I’ve been to Spain.
[55] I’ve been to Japan.
[56] I’ve had a fight with someone on MSN.
[57] I’ve had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[58] I’ve had serious conversations on any IM.

[59] I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[60] I’ve been forgiven.
[61] I’ve screamed at a scary movie.
[] I’ve cried at a chick flick.
[62] I’ve watched a lot of action movies.
[63] I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs.
[] I’ve been to a rap concert.

[] I’ve been to a hip hop concert.
[64] I’ve lived in more than 2 houses.
[65] I’ve driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[66] I’ve driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[] I’ve been in a car accident.

[67] I’ve done drugs.
[68] I’ve been homesick.
[69] I’ve thrown up.
[] I’ve puked on someone.
[70] I’ve been horseback riding.

[] I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[71] I’ve spoken my mind in public.
[72] I’ve proved someone wrong.
[73] I’ve been proven wrong by someone.
[] I’ve broken a leg.

[] I’ve broken an arm/fingers.
[74] I’ve fallen off a swing.
[75] I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[76] I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies. (I’ve one on my comp!)
[] I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school.

[77] I’ve lost my backpack.
[] I’ve come close to dying.
[78] I’ve seen someone die.
[79] I’ve known someone who has died.
[80] I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.

[] I’ve done modeling.
[81] I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[82] I’ve taken something/someone for granted.
[83] I’ve realized how good my life is.
[84] I’ve counted my blessings.
[85] I’ve made fun of a classmate.
[86] I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no.

[] I’ve slapped someone in the face.
[87] I’ve been skateboarding.
[] I’ve been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[88] I’ve lied to someone to their face.
[89] I’ve told a little white lie. (many! lol)

[90] I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane.
[] I’ve fainted.
[] I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[91] I’ve pushed someone into a pool.
[92] I’ve been pushed into a pool.
[] I’ve been/am in love. (thought so many times…but it was just me. Haha)

Thu, 11 May 2006 15:03:38 GMT

But love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

introspective

Fri, 05 May 2006 07:38:24 GMT

You know, it's funny how once you're not blinded by yourself, you see everything so differently. Situations, events, feelings, emotions, thoughts: they're all bathed in a new light; either that or stripped bare of the pretenses that you yourself imposed on them.

who am i?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 14:14:41 GMT

I am that little boy you see at the corner, crying for his mother.
I am that little boy you see at the playground, toys and sand keeping him company.
I am the child who refuses to come in from the rain, letting it soak through his porous skin.
I am the child whose smile shows the innocence of youth, the ignorance of the world.
I am the one who calls out to you: Don't leave me now. Stay. Be with me.
I am the man with his bags packed, standing by the train, waving goodbye.
I am the man who steals a glance behind, not wanting to say goodbye to all that he's leaving behind.
I am that little boy still, calling for you.
Don't leave me now.
Stay.
Be with me.

the heart is a lonely hunter

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 03:09:03 GMT

When her hands hunted out these beautiful new sounds it was the best feeling she had ever known.

the heart is a lonely hunter

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:22:02 GMT

It's strange, sitting here typing on livejournal while my friends are all downstairs having a smoke and happily chatting away. I guess it's good to have some time alone, but when u're with yourself, somehow a feeling of loneliness and regret comes over you. And that sucks, big time.

Maybe that's why i'm always at charmaine's or val's, cuz i know that if i'm alone all the time, i might just break down and cry. I am not that strong a person, i've come to realise. There are things that i can't do by myself; i can't always be there for others if i'm not there for myself.

There are some things in life that i want, but can never get.
Sometimes, in my foolishness, I just wish that, for just a short moment in time, i can have what i want.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 13:21:26 GMT

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blind and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind but then I knew it,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

seeing the balloon fly away

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 13:11:36 GMT

I'm very tired of asking and wishing and hoping...
i like you, and have done a lot to try to get this to work,
but it's as though i'm pushing against a glass barrier.
i've been hurt by you before, and i know it's silly to hurt myself again;
but i'm a sucker for pain, i guess.
I'm just tired.

an sms

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 14:26:10 GMT

"I'll be there eventually. Give me time."

I'm holding you to that. Hurry.

camaderie

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 00:34:53 GMT

Drinking beer on the balcony, smoking a cigarette or two. Cars passing by us, we shooting the breeze, random comments thrown about.

I think i'm gonna like living there.

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 06:52:00 GMT

With all this rain that we're having, sometimes i just wanna lie down in the garden and let all those raindrops fall upon me and wash away my troubles.

Hear my silent prayer, Lord. Let it rain.

footprints in the rain

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 15:24:26 GMT

Running has become my new interest; really helps you lose focus of what's troubling you... albeit a temporary escape.